


A New Start

by Notmycatsname



Series: Coming Back Together [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lie Low At Lupin's (Harry Potter), M/M, Masturbation, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Post-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Pre-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Trans Character, Trans Remus Lupin, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:27:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26586616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notmycatsname/pseuds/Notmycatsname
Summary: "The words leave Sirius’s mouth before he can think on them but his brain’s in overdrive now and he’s not sure he can stop voicing what he wants. It’s odd, he thinks vaguely. He just wants to watch, to see how Remus finds his pleasure now that he’s made his body his own."
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Coming Back Together [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933969
Comments: 3
Kudos: 97





	A New Start

**Author's Note:**

> notmycatsname on tumblr
> 
> Follows "Coming Back Together" but they're not dependent on one another

He can feel Remus’s eyes on him from across the room. They’re packing up some of Remus’s belongings for the move to Grimmauld Place. Sirius skims the bookshelf and tosses a few at random into the open trunk before moving to the bedroom. He hears Remus follow him and turns to see him leaning against the door frame. “It’s fine, Remus. Really, it is.” He hears the tightness in his voice he tried to keep out. He clears his throat.

Remus doesn’t say anything, just nods and steps towards him. “It’s okay if it’s not though.” He sits on the bed and pulls Sirius beside him. Sirius runs his hands through his hair and leans his head against Remus’s shoulder.

“I...Look, I’m trying to be okay with this. I really am.” He laces their fingers together on top of his lap. “I’m not looking forward to it, the place is a fucking hellhole but it’s - it’s not like before. You’ll be there and Harry’s coming and I just have to hope that having a family there, my family,” his voice quivers, “will be enough to get me through it.” He’s shaking a little but he takes a deep breath, then two, and squeezes Remus’s hand.

Blunt fingernails come to scratch his scalp, and he feels himself relax into them. “It should give you at least some satisfaction to see the whole Weasley clan take up residence in the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. Especially the twins.”

Sirius snorts at that and smiles weakly at Remus. He ruffles at his hair and raises himself from the bed. “Come on, then. I’ll pack up some more of your shit and maybe you can roll us some joints for tonight. It might be best if I’m still properly fucked up when we get there tomorrow.”

It’ll be miserable and he knows it. Sirius thought he’d left that hellscape for good nearly 20 years ago and it’s a fucking knock in the gut to be going back. But he feels his breath quicken and heart race and thinks he’ll explode when he thinks about it so he’ll rest on avoidance for the time being. He focuses his energy on the task at hand and packs Remus’s scant wardrobe. He’s folding worn t-shirts and patched jeans and sweaters that look like they were stolen from someone’s grandfather’s closet when he sees something that makes him pause.

There are three rubber sex toys in a plastic shopping bag at the bottom of Remus’s sock drawer. The sight makes Sirius' heart speed up and his mouth dry. He and Remus haven’t had sex since he’s been back. They hug and hold and kiss each other, they even sleep in the same bed in just their boxers. But it never progresses any further. Sirius hasn’t wanted to and Remus doesn’t push it or ask.

The thought never occurred to Sirius, although he has no idea why. Just because Sirius had lost all interest in anything past kissing certainly didn’t mean Remus had. And the thought of Remus...well, it makes his blood run hot in a way he had forgotten.

“Hey, um. Do you wanna - what about these?” The words feel heavy and thick on his tongue. Remus hums in question and he feels his chin come to rest on his shoulder.

“Oh. Those.” Sirius turns to look at him and sees the faint traces of a blush coloring Remus’s cheeks. He can’t remember the last time he’d seen Remus blush. He laughs a little awkwardly and scrubs a hand down his face.

“Are these - for you or um, others?” Sirius can’t believe he used to be able to pick up a date with just his words. He feels like a kid again.

Remus laughs again. “Both. I’ve, um, got a harness stored away somewhere. But it’s been a while. Not that you asked, I suppose.” He sits on the bed and tries to hide a smile behind his hand. “Maybe we could use one of these now,” he mutters as he reaches for one of the newly rolled joints.

“I want to see.” The words leave Sirius’s mouth before he can think on them but his brain’s in overdrive now and he’s not sure he can stop voicing what he wants. It’s odd, he thinks vaguely. He just wants to watch, to see how Remus finds his pleasure now that he’s made his body his own. Sirius himself doesn’t want to get off on it and he’s not sure if he can. He just wants to watch.

It’s a testament to how far gone he is already that he can’t even find it in himself to make fun of Remus’s slack-jawed expression and his hand frozen in mid-air on it’s way to the joint. Sirius is worried he’s pressed too far and is about to apologize when Remus pushes himself off the bed and takes two quick strides to press Sirius against the dresser. His hands cup Sirius’s face and Sirius’s eyes flutter closed.

Their lips meet and Sirius immediately opens his mouth to Remus’s tongue. He sucks it into his mouth and his blood boils with the moan that escapes Remus. He sinks a hand into Remus’s hair and wraps an arm around his waist to pull him closer. He searches his memories to recall what used to make Remus fall apart in bed but it’s difficult to think with this slick tongue licking along his palette.

His hands act on muscle memory as the hand in Remus’s curls grabs hold and pulls hard. Remus’s hips thrust against his and Sirius feels a heat pooling deep in his belly. They spend a few more minutes like that, moaning into each other’s mouths while tongues slide together and teeth nip at swollen lips, before Remus pulls away.

“Purple one’s just a dildo but the black vibrates too. The red’s more meant for two, so we can save that for some other day.” Sirius groans aloud at the thought of “some other day” and thrusts the black vibrator into Remus’s hands. He’s smiling at Sirius now and steps back to pull his shirt off. Sirius is stuck somewhere now between awestruck and wanting to wipe that smug grin off his face.

Shaking his head, he pushes Remus back onto the bed. “You’re such a prat,” but he can’t keep the laugh out of his voice. He sits at the end of the bed as Remus moves to stretch out, leaning against the headboard. “Just get on with it.”

Remus has his hands resting at the waistband of his jeans, thumbing over the button. “What do you want to see?” Sirius rolls his eyes because of course Remus is going to make him say everything, let nothing go unspoken or implied. He’s laughing at him again though and Sirius reckons he’ll say whatever the fuck Remus wants him to if it means he can hear him laugh like that, carefree and ringing in the air.

“I just…” He stops, trying to get the words right and properly voice what it is he wants. "You're so fucking beautiful. You've always been, I've been telling you this for years but now you're fucking glowing with it." He's not sure where he's going but the words are flowing out of his mouth and he's not sure he can stop them.

"Show me what you like, let me see. Do you - do you still like the same things? I pulled your hair a minute ago and I think you liked that. I remember, I think, when we'd go down on each other for what seemed like hours. You'd fuck your own face on my cock and get me so wet with it and I'd just lap at your clit like a fucking dog. Do you still like that?”

Usually Sirius would be cursing himself for not being able to stop the spiral of his mind and mouth but not now. Not when Remus is undoing his jeans and pushing them down with shaking hands, head tipped back against the headboard and breathing through flared nostrils. “Keep fucking talking,” he hears him mutter through grit teeth. And how can he stop now.

Sirius watches, mesmerized, as Remus runs his fingers through the hair between his legs before turning on the vibrator. His eyes are closed and he’s teasing himself, brushing against his inner thighs and slowly inching closer. Sirius’s mind raises trying to find something to push him further.  
“We picked up someone at a club in Soho once, didn’t we? Brought him home with us and fucked on the living room floor?”

Remus nods and brings the vibrator the wetness between his legs. His eyes roll back and he lets out a moan that hits Sirius in the pit of his stomach. “Mmhmm, he shagged you from behind and you fucked me into the carpet” Their eyes lock and Sirius feels like he’s on fire when Remus sucks two fingers into his mouth. “Do you remember what happened after that?”

He smiles now at how Remus is egging him on. Sirius is more than happy to indulge him. “He ate you out, really let you thrust into his mouth while I sat on your face and you licked and sucked his come from my ass.” Remus is fucking transcendent now and Sirius can’t take his eyes off him.

Minutes before Remus was putting on a show for him, posing himself for Sirius’s enjoyment. Now, Sirius thinks, he’s perfect, his hips thrusting forward against the vibrator as he brings his wet fingers to his entrance. He’s still looking at him but his teeth are clenched and his breathing is quick and shallow. Sirius knows he’s close and longs to touch him to bring him over the edge, but more than that, he wants to watch it unfold in front of him.

“I remember kissing you after that while he watched. Sucking your filthy tongue into my mouth and rubbing you off until you nearly bit through my lip. You’re so fucking perfect, let me see you.”

A cry tears itself from Remus’s throat, gravelly and cracked, as his eyes clench shut and his whole body shudders. Sirius’s own heart is pounding and he feels something oddly close to pride as he watches Remus catch his breath, resting his head on his bent knees. He knows he wasn’t there for Remus at his worst and hates himself for it but to be here at what Sirius knows is his best is worth far more than he deserves.

Remus crawls towards him on the bed and gives him a surprisingly chaste kiss, all things considered, and Sirius melts with the tenderness of it. “Do you want to do anything about...anything?” Remus glances down and Sirius realizes he’s hard. It’s an odd feeling, but not unpleasant, though he has no desire to chase it.

He thinks for a moment before shaking his head and kissing Remus again, holding his head in his hands. “We’ll wait for another day when we can use that red toy together.” He stands from the bed after Remus places a final kiss to his forehead and looks around the room. “But don’t think that got you out packing your shit up.”

Remus laughs him and grabs his discarded clothes. They’ll be alright.


End file.
